Chance on February 12th, 2010

Warning, Gentlemen’s Spice can make you splurt….
Doctor: Do come in, if you would just like to just remove your trousers and wait behind the screen.
Captain: Right-ho! And it’s ‘Captain’, if you don’t mind.
Doctor: Do excuse me, Captain, we are rather a quiet little community. It’s not often we have a man like yourself come to [...]

Continue reading At The Village Doctor…


Chance on February 5th, 2010

This brandy tastes a bit funny, pour us another one my dear fellow…
I say, have a look at this, says here the Wright brothers will have a machine capable of powered flight before the year is out. Ha! What rot. Zeppelins are the way forward. Trust me, in ten years’ time, they will be all over the skies of Europe.

Continue reading The Sabotaging Swede

Chance on January 22nd, 2010

the last page of henry lamberton’s journal
My experiment worked and I have my proof that Newton was wrong. I have been exploring ways to pass on my observations and I feel that, after going through this in my head, the following is the best way I can find.
Let us say that today, I walk across [...]

Continue reading The Nth Page of Henry Lamberton’s Journal

Chance on January 15th, 2010

No one can quite tell it, as Tiberius O’Donnell…
I say, toy soldiers! What fun! What’s this fellow’s name?
Colonel Robert Kekewich? Who’s this chap? General Jan Kemp?. He seems to have a lot more horses, that doesn’t seem fair.
Oh I see, silly me, you are discussing the situation in Southern Africa and that snuff tin is [...]

Continue reading The Complexing Conundrum

Chance on January 8th, 2010

Stagehand: Curtain call, five minutes, ladies…

Doris: He wanted to put it where?

Ethel: Me back passage.

Doris: But, Ethel… That’s tiny.

Ethel: I know, that’s what I said, wouldn’t listen though. He gave it a good try and got covered in oil, the silly goose. Told him, to stick it round front.

Continue reading Wisdom From The Chorus Line

Chance on January 1st, 2010

“Voglio spedire un telegramma per Londra.”
“Certo. Inglese?”
“Si.”
Adam Fletcher pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his brow as the young lady behind the counter at the Poste e Telegrafi stepped off her small stool to reach one of the blank telegram forms behind her. She picked up one of the [...]

Continue reading Speranza

Chance on December 24th, 2009

He has hunted monsters in Marrakesh, had fisticuffs with undesirables, explored the paranormal, battled with the elements and captured smugglers. Its now time for a letter home…
December 21st 1901

Hello Mammy,
It’s with great sadness that I write to tell you I will not be making it back home for Christmas. It sounds like it is going [...]

Continue reading A Letter Home to Mammy

Chance on December 18th, 2009

All Rise…

Well, your ‘onour, I arrived on the corner of Brick Lane and White Chapel ‘igh street at approximately 3am on the morning of November 6th 1927. Across the road, lying on the ground face-down, was a body which I presumed to be that of a reveller who was slightly worse for wear.

Continue reading The Queen of Sheba

Chance on December 4th, 2009

The Senators stepped away from Julius Caesar who dropped down to his knees in shock and  began to straighten his robes. His heart still beat strong and the blood flowed thick and heavy over his fingertips as he looked up in sorrow at those who had conspired against him. His look  then turned to rage [...]

Continue reading E Tu Brute ?

Chance on November 27th, 2009

“I say, what a marvelous cock!”

I was so pleased the Vicar had noticed on this splendid spring day. Last year he had seemed to be obsessed by Lady Watson’s tits, and if we’re being perfectly honest, we would have to admit to agreeing they were a most magnificent pair, and most worthy of the prestigious Best Birds award in the Kensington and Chelsea Annual Ornithology Show 1911. But this was 1912. A whole year had passed. A year in which I had spent a great deal of time preparing and nurturing my Spangling Green Cock.

Continue reading A Cocktale