England

Chance on February 3rd, 2011

How much do you take in your  Gentlemen’s Spice? Asquith: Rioja. Absolutely without a doubt. You can tell from the aroma. Browne:Nonsense, it’s further south than that – La Mancha. As I said before, ignore the aromas and look at the colour, that colour screams La Mancha. Asquith: I say you are wrong old boy, this [...]

Continue reading about Archer

Chance on March 19th, 2010

That is meant to be his head, right…?

…and the fellow is standing up…?

Hang on… Hang on, if thats his head, those must be his arms and that there must be his Ding Dong!

Continue reading about The Right Rollicking Race

Chance on February 12th, 2010

Warning, Gentlemen’s Spice can make you splurt…. Doctor: Do come in, if you would just like to just remove your trousers and wait behind the screen. Captain: Right-ho! And it’s ‘Captain’, if you don’t mind. Doctor: Do excuse me, Captain, we are rather a quiet little community. It’s not often we have a man like [...]

Continue reading about At The Village Doctor…

Chance on February 5th, 2010

This brandy tastes a bit funny, pour us another one my dear fellow…
I say, have a look at this, says here the Wright brothers will have a machine capable of powered flight before the year is out. Ha! What rot. Zeppelins are the way forward. Trust me, in ten years’ time, they will be all over the skies of Europe.

Continue reading about The Sabotaging Swede

Chance on January 29th, 2010

“Get your lips tighter around it, you’re dribbling.”

This was the third time in the space of ten minutes I had to draw attention to Miss Rotterlicks’ technique. She looked up to me with those bugged eyes of hers, blessed with all the grace of a grasshopper. As she always did in these scenarios, she began to go faster.

Continue reading about A Northern Swan Song

Chance on January 22nd, 2010

the last page of henry lamberton’s journal My experiment worked and I have my proof that Newton was wrong. I have been exploring ways to pass on my observations and I feel that, after going through this in my head, the following is the best way I can find. Let us say that today, I [...]

Continue reading about The Nth Page of Henry Lamberton’s Journal

Chance on January 8th, 2010

Stagehand: Curtain call, five minutes, ladies…

Doris: He wanted to put it where?

Ethel: Me back passage.

Doris: But, Ethel… That’s tiny.

Ethel: I know, that’s what I said, wouldn’t listen though. He gave it a good try and got covered in oil, the silly goose. Told him, to stick it round front.

Continue reading about Wisdom From The Chorus Line

Chance on December 18th, 2009

All Rise…

Well, your ‘onour, I arrived on the corner of Brick Lane and White Chapel ‘igh street at approximately 3am on the morning of November 6th 1927. Across the road, lying on the ground face-down, was a body which I presumed to be that of a reveller who was slightly worse for wear.

Continue reading about The Queen of Sheba

Chance on November 27th, 2009

“I say, what a marvelous cock!”

I was so pleased the Vicar had noticed on this splendid spring day. Last year he had seemed to be obsessed by Lady Watson’s tits, and if we’re being perfectly honest, we would have to admit to agreeing they were a most magnificent pair, and most worthy of the prestigious Best Birds award in the Kensington and Chelsea Annual Ornithology Show 1911. But this was 1912. A whole year had passed. A year in which I had spent a great deal of time preparing and nurturing my Spangling Green Cock.

Continue reading about A Cocktale

Chance on October 31st, 2009

How wonderful to see you at the races, Duchess Bloemfontein, Ladies.

Oh I had a bit of trouble at the gate, seems my invitation to the enclosure must have got lost in the post this year.

No, one of the three things I promised my mammy I would never do:

1) Never trust a man from Tramore
2) Never fight for the English
3) Never bet on the Horses

Continue reading about The Dabble With The Occult

Better Tag Cloud